TW: Discussion of Depression and Suicidal Ideation
It was love at first sight—or rather, love at first torch. In the dead of winter in 2020, after surviving my first semester of public school teaching amidst the throes of a pandemic, I found myself in a musty studio taking a silversmithing class. Before that moment, I’d felt an undeniable pull to try working with metal and flame. The instant I completed my first piece of jewelry, I was hooked.
Just two weeks after that first class, I spent all my savings on tools and launched my business. I had no experience running a business, and truthfully, my metalsmithing skills weren’t where they needed to be. But my intuition told me to forge ahead. Little did I know then that starting this business would become my beacon of hope—and ultimately save my life.
As I began my teaching career, it didn’t take long to realize it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. By January 2023, my world felt like it was falling apart. Guilt, fear, and anxiety consumed me as I wrestled with how much I hated public school teaching. Looking back, I now recognize I was deeply depressed, though I didn’t fully understand it at the time. Each day, I dragged myself to work, dreading every moment and feeling completely hopeless.
I felt trapped—like I had wasted so much time and money on a career that didn’t fit me. I didn’t see a way out. The weight of it all made me believe the world might be better off without me. I felt like a burden to the people I loved.
Many factors helped me climb out of that dark pit, but my small business was the light that guided me forward. By then, Crooked Trails Silver had started gaining momentum. I had a few successful markets under my belt, was growing a following, and received consistent online orders. Customers shared kind words and encouragement through their support, and that began to spark something in me.
It was that support—along with the unwavering love of my family and friends—that gave me the courage to leave teaching and fully commit to building my business. Without that, I don’t know if I would’ve made it out of the darkness. You gave me the greatest gift: hope. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.
When you shop small, you’re not just supporting a business owner’s dream. You’re investing in the community, empowering people to build lives that feel meaningful to them. In my case—and for so many others—it’s an act of pure love that keeps us moving forward, even on the hardest days.
So, this holiday season, shop small. Your purchase goes further than you could ever imagine.
On a personal note: Leaving teaching was the catalyst for finding joy and understanding my depression. But the real game-changer was seeking professional help. Medication and therapy made all the difference for me. If you’re feeling depressed or having thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help. You can call 988 for immediate support. The world is better with you in it.